October 24, 2009: Loving Couple with Happy Child Still Waiting
We have recently been in contact with our two agencies. We found out that we were presented to a birthmother recently, but that she wanted to offer her baby to a couple with no children. This is something we knew would happen, and I suppose it’s understandable that a young mom would want to at least be able to grant a couple their first child, but it’s also something we want to face head-on.
Our daughter should never be the reason someone does not adopt a child to us. In fact, we believe that our daughter is the proof that a person could use in making a knowledgeable decision. She is proof that we are and will continue to be excellent parents. Plus, consider this: do you want your baby to be an only child. In our family, a birthmother will not only be granting a child to a loving, stable couple, but she will be granting a sibling to a loving, intelligent older sister.
The good new is that one of our agencies is working with more birthmothers than it has been in recent months. They encourage us to keep praying, and they sound positive on our behalf.
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September 25, 2009: Physicals
We’ve all been checked out and OK’d by our respective doctors. Once again, we have been proven fit for adoption. It’s strange that we have to be proven healthy when regular families are producing children all around us.
They don’t have to ask permission and jump through all the hoops.
It’s not really fair.
It’s understandable that such laws exist, but it’s a pain to have to renew all these things every year when no one else has to.
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September 6, 2009: Another Year II
The process continues to cycle. This week is our yearly home study. Every year, a lady comes to our house from Springfield. Once inside, she grills us with personal questions about how wonderful our lives are and what kind of environment we have to offer for our children. She will talk to our daughter at the same time and record all of our answers.
Is anything difference from the other thousand times she has investigated us? Not really. There have been some changes in that members of our family now live closer, but there is nothing that indicates that we are any less or any more capable of parenting than we were the last time she visited. This is just another requirement of the state.
We don’t get anxious about her visits anymore, though our wallet tends to get a little lighter every time she graces our door. Yes, that right, we have to pay to put ourselves under the microscope. I contend that we are excellent parents (I have five-year-old proof!), and that much less capable people are having babies all over the place without first acquiring permission from the government.
I do understand the scrutiny. It is a necessary inconvenience and expense. There are all kinds of unscrupulous people in the world and there are all kinds of evil things that they can do. The unborn and children must be protected.
Just not from us.
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August 8, 2009: Another Year I
We are in the process of updating all of our information for another year of searching: fingerprints, physicals, and another home visit from our social worker.
In the last month, we were being considered by a birthmother. She wanted visitation rights, but we weren’t comfortable with that situation. We also figure that something like that may be confusing to our daughter (who has enough to think about with kindergarten starting soon).
Anyway, we are keeping on keeping on. We are blessed and thankful beyond measure with the daughter we have, but we continue to pray for a little brother or sister for her.
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November 28, 2008: Thanksgiving
We corresponded with both of our agencies earlier in the week – to wish them a happy Thanksgiving. One of the counselors revealed that she had been working with a birthmother for about a month until the mother’s family stepped in to take care of her unborn child.
This has happened before, and while it hurts that we still have to wait, we are thankful that another baby will have a chance to live. Our prayers will continue for these “crisis” pregnancies (though I’m not fond of that term) – for the babies to be born healthy and for the parents to be at peace with the decision to continue the pregnancy. It is a difficult decision – one I can not even imagine the heartbreak – but we understand the compassion that these (mostly) young ladies must have in order to choose adoption.
We are thankful to all who make this possible, and we continue to wait for our bundle.
